STAN FREBERG lyrics - St. George And The Dragonet

[Narrator:]

The legend you are about to hear is true

Only the needle should be changed to protect the record



[St. George:]

This is the countryside

My name is St George

I'm a knight



Saturday, July 10th, 8:05 pm

I was working out of the castle on the nightwatch

when a call came in from the Chief

A dragon had been devouring maidens

Homicide

My job, slay him



[St. George:]

You call me, Chief



[Chief:]

Yes, the dragon again, devouring maidens

The King's daughter may be next



St. George:

Mmm-hmm

You got a lead



[Chief:]

Oh, nothing much to go on

Say, did you take that.45 automatic

into the lab to have them check on it



[St. George:]

Yeah, you were right



[Chief:]

I was right



[St. George:]

Yeah, It was a gun



8:22 pm, I talked to one of the maidens

who had almost been devoured



[St. George:]

Could I talk to you, Ma'am



[Maiden:]

Who are you



[St. George:]

I'm St. George, Ma'am

Homicide, Ma'am

Want to ask you a few questions, Ma'am

I understand you were almost devoured by the dragon, Ma'am

Is that right, dragon



[Maiden:]

It was terrible

He breathed fire on me

He burned me already



[St. George:]

How can I be sure of that, Ma'am



[Maiden:]

Believe me

I got it straight from the dragon's mouth



[St. George:]

11:45 pm

I rode over the King's Highway

I saw a man

Stopped to talk to him

Pardon me, Sir

Could I talk to you for just a minute, Sir



[Knave:]

Sure, I don't mind



[St. George:]

What do you do for a living



[Knave:]

I'm a knave



[St. George:]

Didn't I pick you up on a 903 last year for stealing tarts



[Knave:]

Yeah, so what

Do you wanna make a federal case out of it



[St. George:]

No, Sir

We heard there was a dragon operating in this neighborhood

We just want to know if you've seen him



[Knave:]

Sure, I've seen him



[St. George:]

Mmm-hmm

Could you describe him for me



[Knave:]

What's to describe

You see one dragon, you seen 'em all



[St. George:]

Would you try to remember, Sir

Just for the record

We just want to get the facts, Sir



[Knave:]

Well, he was, you know, he had orange polka dots. . .



[St. George:]

Yes, Sir



[Knave:]

Purple feet, breathing fire and smoke. . .



St. George:

Mmm-hmm



[Knave:]

And one big bloodshot eye

right in the middle of his forehead and

Uh, like that



[St. George:]

Notice anything unusual about him



[Knave:]

No, he's just your run-of-the-mill dragon, you know



[St. George:]

Mmm-hmm

Yes, Sir

You can go now



[Knave:]

Hey, by the way, how you gonna catch him



[St. George:]

I thought you'd never ask

A Dragonet



3:05 pm

I was riding back into the courtyard

to make my report to the lab

Then it happened

It was the dragon



[Dragon:]

Hey, I'm the fire-breathin' Dragon

You must be St George, right



[St. George:]

Yes, Sir



[Dragon:]

I can see you got one of them new.45 caliber swords



[St. George:]

That's about the size of it



[Dragon:]

Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha

You slay me



[St. George:]

That's what I wanted to talk to you about



[Dragon:]

What do you mean



[St. George:]

I'm taking you in on a 502

You figure it out



[Dragon:]

What's the charge



[St. George:]

Devouring maidens out of season



[Dragon:]

Out of season

You'll never pin that rap on me

Do you hear me, cop



[St. George:]

Yeah, I hear you

I got you on a 412 too



[Dragon:]

A 412

What's a 412



[St. George:]

Over-acting. Let's go



[Narrator:]

On September the 5th, the Dragon was tried and convicted

His fire was put out and his maiden-devouring license revoked

Maiden devouring out of season is punishable

by a term of not less than 50 or more than 300 years