RANDY NEWMAN lyrics - Half A Man

This big old queen was standing

On the corner of the street

He waved his hanky at me

As I went rolling by

I pulled the truck up on the sidewalk

And I climbed down from the cab

With my tire-chain and my knife



As I approached him

He was trembling like a bird

I raised the chain above my head

He said, "Please, before you kill me

Might I have one final word?"

And this is what he said:

"I am but Half A Man, Half A Man

I'd like to be a dancer

But I'm much too large

Half A Man, Half A Man

I'm an object for your pity

Not your rage"



Oh, the strangest feeling's sweeping over me

Both my speech and manner have become much more refined

I said, "Oh, what is this feeling?

What is wrong with me?"

She said, "Girl, it happens all the time



"Now you are Half A Man, Half A Man

Look, you're walking and you're talking

Like a fag."

Half A Man, I am Half A Man

Holy Jesus, what a drag